How to practice discernment, why it is not the same as judgement plus three questions to ask yourself when examining your beliefs, opinions and lifestyle choices.
I have deep convictions about what I believe. That does not mean I am in judgement of other people. I just discern what resonates for me in particular at this time.
A recent exchange got me thinking about how many individuals who actually advocate free thought; sharing of ideas and tolerance actually inadvertently oppose what they claim to stand for.
How does this happen? They assume a persona or a role that implies others are incapable of making intelligent choices for themselves and impose their “protective” guidance on them.
People are entitled to their opinions, some may be offered with or without your consent.
They are always about the person speaking them.
“I don’t want you to do XYZ because I care about you and I don’t want you to make the wrong (in whose eyes?) decision.”
Caring is ultimately about control.
“I don’t think it’s safe for you to do XYZ.”
Protecting is fundamentally about control.
Then discern where the Truth in what they have shared resonates with you.
Some share wisdom, some utter perfect counsel unwittingly while others attempt to control your thoughts and actions because it makes them feel better about their own issues.
The only way you can tell the difference is through discernment.
This is not the same as judgement; you are not declaring what another says or believes as either good or bad. You are distinguishing what suits you best. Requested suggestions are received however admonitions are disregarded.
“You must do what I think is right”… um, NO.
Consult your inner guidance. How do you feel about what has been said? Where can you feel a visceral reaction in your body? Is it something you recognise as a positive or negative sensation?
Choose whether to engage or disengage from this person’s perspective, the conversation, or their company as a whole.
“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”
− Coco Chanel
Questions to ask your Self:
1. Is this person happier/more fulfilled/ more content than I am?
2. Does this sound like it is coming from a place of respect (not concern) for me?
3. Are they insinuating that my way is “wrong”?
I deliberate then I decide for my Self.